A Story For You

I've been called to repentance. I'm really sorry my last few emails have been below par. Heavenly Father filled this week with excitement just to insure that didn't happen again :)

First, I have to start with the amazing news from last week. We went to visit Sheryl for sister Matthews first time. I was really nervous because we had taken a member of the ward over and Sheryl didn't get a good vibe from her... And then sister Checketts left! When we went to say goodbye Sheryl was SO upset she told us she wasn't going to tell us her new address when she moved :/

So we sit down and we are reading from the Book of Mormon. Halfway through, Sheryl looks at sister Matthews and says "I know you aren't going to understand this, but thank you" I almost cried. Sheryl looked at me and asked if I knew what she was talking about. I said yes, and that I had been praying so hard for that. She opened up and told us that she was really nervous about the change and she thought about asking us to not come back :( she thanked s. Matthews for being lovable like s. Checketts and I :)

Kyla wants to get baptized and she got her answer while she was reading the Book of Mormon. I swear miracles are real and that the Book of Mormon is FULL of them! Please pray for her. And Sheryl. They both have some big obstacles in front of them keeping them from church. Thanks in advance. ;) I'm trying to be humble, but it would be really awesome to have a baptism the week before I go home. Just saying. :)

Okay. Now on to this week. The statue was so fun. We were SO tired. The ride home took us FOREVER and we ended up missing correlation :/ not the best thing but we got stuck in a super bad rain storm so I figured safety was more important.

On our way to the statue we stopped to see Karen. :) she cried. She is smoking again :( but I think it was good for her soul to see us. I know it was good for mine to see her.

Thursday we met with an amazing recent convert. She is trying everything she can to be good and to do good. :) we were blessed with a busy & full day, which I love. I have been praying to be able to follow the spirit more and His will more than mine. Usually that means our whole schedule falls apart but we end up teaching the people He intended us to teach. It's keeping me on my toes, that's for sure. :)

Friday morning we woke up to exercise. Wait, did I tell you what we have been doing? Every morning we either run or jump rope or both, and at least three times a week we do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred at night. I'm exhausted all of the time, but it's good. Okay, back to Friday. So... We grab our jump ropes and as I'm pulling the door shut it dawned on me that the keys were on the kitchen table. And I had locked the door. And we didn't have a spare. And the door clicked shut...And it was 630 in the morning. So, of course, we go to the elders. I don't know why sisters have it ingrained in our brains that elders can fix everything. Usually, they can do less than we can. Anyways, to make a long story short, we had to wait for the office to open at the apartment complex. It opens at 9. So we walked and jumped rope and ran for approximately 2.5 hours. There is nothing I hate more than sitting and wasting time. I almost went crazy just sitting outside.

By the time we got ready and did our studies, it was time for lunch... Which was good because all of our appointments had cancelled by then. We went to lunch with the relief society president. It was good to take some time and talk about all of the sisters in the ward and how we can help. She is recently an empty nester, so I think she needed someone to fill her void. ;) she spoiled us.

We took some time to help a less active in our Ward who has recently developed some health problems. We have been helping her with household duties. It's nice to take a break from the mundane every once in a while. And it filled our Friday with good things :)

Saturday morning we were having our companionship study and we were looking at the schedule for interviews with President Morgan this coming weekend. Our whole district is at the very beginning, at 8 am (we are interviewed by zones) and sister Matthews and I are at the very end at 11:30 am, right before the zone leaders. I thought that it that might be because mine should be longer for my exit interview, but mine was only scheduled for the same 12 minutes as everyone else's. We couldn't figure it out!

Then I asked sister Matthews if she got released as a Sister Training Leader. She said no, but she just assumed she was! I told her president never called me, but they released me in the transfer meeting. She said that no one said anything to her about being released, but they never told her she was still an STL, either! I started laughing and told her that she was probably still an STL, and that's why the sister we thought was our STL hadn't called us yet! It's been a week and a half of the new cycle by now, mind you. I told her she had better call the APs to find out. This whole time I am laughing at HER because I know I was released.

She calls the AP's and says "Hey Elder Coleman... Quick question for you... Am I still a Sister Training Leader?"

"Uh, yeah. Didn't you know? You and Sister Toone both are!"

What. The.

But I got released!! Apparently they forgot to call me and sustain me again.. Oh, that awkward moment when you are a STL again and you had no idea. We are only over three companionships this time, which is really nice. The APs apologized for not telling us and we just laughed and laughed. Needless to say we had some phone calls to make after that. Our zone leaders didn't know, the sisters didn't know... And of course we had no idea!

So I get to go to MLC again!! And I don't get to die as a regular missionary. :) it's bittersweet but mostly just sweet. I can't wait for MLC! I was pretty sad because I wouldn't get to see sister smith before I went home, but I'll see her and a few others that I really love at MLC :)

The rest of this week has been pretty ordinary. But wait! I have wonderful news! Sister Walker is going to the temple!!! And to get her patriarchal blessing!! I love the gospel. I've watched her life completely turn around. Sister Chen and I were the first ones to invite her back to church. Now she has a calling in primary and a temple recommend! And Helen, who I love so so so so so much, is just one step behind her. She was sick on Sunday so she wasn't able to get her recommend.

Yesterday we had an AMAZING online lesson with an investigator. I've never met her in person, but I've taught her online twice. We started talking about studying the scriptures (because she had asked about that) and by the end we had taught her the whole restoration and she committed to praying about it and meeting with us again. Halfway through our original lesson plan she said she had a question about religion so we asked her what it was and she said why are there so many?? Shouldn't there be just one? AAH! YESS!!! And the best part is.... I will be able to remember that lesson forever because it is in my Facebook chat :) I love the hastening of the work!!

This week I have been focusing on listening to the spirit, and learning how the spirit speaks to me. I am not 100% sure that anyone has it down to a science, except maybe the prophet. I started writing down the times during the day that I felt the spirit and it has been really amazing to see just how often I do feel it, prompting me in even the smallest things. That's something I would really love to get good at... Especially because I have some pretty big decisions to make coming up!

I also started on my mission experience... For those of you who have written one, how long is it? And how long did it take you? I am on page three and barely made it through my first week in the Bronx. It has been amazing to see how far I have come since then! And how much hasn't changed at the same time. I definitely have grown a little since the MTC.

Well ladies and gents...

The gospel's true... The book is blue.
What was y'alls favorite conference talk??
And how is the BOM challenge going?? I am in the thick of King Lamoni's conversion. Does anyone know where Abish came from? I know someone told me once but I can't remember.

I think that's all for today.

Xoxo
Sister Toone

Pictures from lunch and Les Misérables

Statue of liberty

Okay just quick...
You can buy a calling caRd at the MTC, I would suggest buying two just in case.

Kyla has a bap date for the Sunday before I leave! And Sheryl LOOVEESS sister Matthews. I have been praying HARD for that. If yall could pray for those two... I'd love you forever.

I'm feeling good about coming home. I'm ready. Next week I have my exit interview with president Morgan... It's getting real.

Next week I promise promise promise I will write an email. I tried this week but obviously.. I failed. So. I pinky pinky promise next week I'll send something. I was going to write it on the train but then I spent my time talking to this awesome lady about God. So worth it. :)

Also, I thought I was going to have to buy my les mis ticket but sister Matthews dad is amazing and bought us orchestra seating as a Halloween present. The tickets were 132 a PIECE! He is awesome.

Love you! I promise I'm happy and loving the mission and excited to see all of you. The gospel is real and it's changing lives!

Xoxo

Sister Toone

Transfers

Welp, it's transfers today! And surprise! I'm staying in Middletown.
Sister Checketts is leaving me though and I am SO sad. I love her with my whole heart.

My new companion is sister matthews. I was her sister training leader for three cycles and we planned all of our dying stuff together. So.
It will be fun :) she goes home six weeks after me!

 

This week has flown by!!! Thursday was one of the best days of my mission. We woke up and got ready to go to the temple with Abi and Miguelina. We found that ginormous spider outside of our apartment, caught it in a Tupperware, and delivered it to the elders. :) don't worry. Sister Checketts caught the spider. I was just the camera woman.


On the way to the temple we just talked! It seriously felt like going to the temple with my best friends. I love those ladies SO much!! At the temple I was able to do baptisms for the first time since I was like 14... It felt SO good to be there and be worthy to be there.


On the way out of the city I got really emotional. I LOVE New York City. With my whole heart. I cannot wait to come back and LIVE here :) anyone wanna join me?


Okay... Was conference the best, or what?! Tell me what you loved. Personally, I LOVED the Saturday sessions. I loved the talk by the German guy that talked super fast. I LOVED how he talked about being honest with yourself about where you are and repenting always. I also loved how he said "casualness never was happiness" AMEN. When we get casual in anything that we do, we deny ourselves blessings. That's all. :) I loved all of the talk about keeping covenants... I think it makes coming home easier to deal with :) ...there was so much I loved, but I am short on time. So I'll save that for some other email. :)


Saturday we found out sister Checketts was leaving. It was SO sad. I love her with my whole heart... We spent the next few days running around visiting people and spending as much time as we could laughing together. I have learned so much from her. Life changing lessons about being honest and having healthy relationships and what it really means to be a daughter of God. We talked a lot about the lies satan feeds us... One of the worst ones was mentioned in general conference... The lie that God is disappointed in us. He is NEVER disappointed in us.

This week I truly have learned that the lords work is about love, not statistics. We have seen miracles and wonderful changes come about in this area....and if you just look at our numbers, you'd never ever see it. I have been feeling like I didn't accomplish much on my mission.... But then I remember all of the people I love and the way they have changed me and the statistics of my mission don't matter anymore.

I love all of you. Next week I am going to the Statue of Liberty... So if you don't hear from me... SORRY! :) and the next week is Les Mis...so...


Xoxo


Sister Toone

:)

I feel like I need to preface this email by saying that miracles still exist, and they are happening every day in the lives of people we teach. God truly is preparing people to receive His son and the gospel he gave us. My life is full of joy because I get to be a part of them every single day.
It's interesting how trials come on the mission. Often, they are a result of your own poor choices. Sometimes they come from the poor choices of those you serve... But you expect those. Missionaries are guides to help people receive the restored gospel and sometimes people veer off course for a little while. I know people are not perfect and I know I cannot expect that of them.. But I do expect them to try!
Let me vent about another, more frustrating experience. But first you need some background. When the whole Kate Kelly thing came about, I was in Morningside Heights; the ward that is infamous for being very intellectual and very liberal. Our organist is an active member of the church and also the gay community, and on Wednesday nights a large group of women get together for Feminist Home Evening. When members first started talking about it at church, I realized that as a missionary and representative of the church, I had to gain my own testimony of the priesthood and my divine role as a woman in the church very quickly. We tried to avoid the subject, but members brought it up at almost  every dinner appointment, along with their thoughts and concerns about it. Some of their concerns became my concerns. I took solace in the temple and in my calling as a missionary, and in those moments when I did feel blessed by or with priesthood power. I leaned on the faith I had and the things I knew, and I tried to not let doubts get in my way.

I took a lot of comfort in the letter from the first presidency and what President Morgan has said. You've seen me bear my testimony about the moral force of women before! So, now let me tell you about Monday.

We had asked for permission to go to the temple with Miguelina and Abi after the women's broadcast, because in case you missed it, it was ALL about the temple. They were so excited to go back! So we asked our zone leaders Sunday, and they said they would let us know on Monday. Monday morning they came to our district meeting and after we talked to them about it. They said the assistants gave us permission to go on Saturday, but not Thursday. We asked why and they didn't know. We told them that Miguelina works on Saturdays and that if we go on Saturdays, we have to take four priesthood holders with us. They acted like we were "those sisters" and told us to call the APs. One of them looked at me and asked me how bad I wanted it. I thought he was joking so I said really bad! I mean I've worked with these women for a YEAR so who wouldn't want to go with them to the temple? Then he looked at me and said "get that priesthood then" like he had something over me because he had the priesthood. Like I would never be as good as he is because I will never have the priesthood. Like I needed him and he had something over me.

Wow! Everything I had worked so hard to hold on to was seriously shaken with that stupid, insensitive comment. It really hurt and it really made me question not only my worth as a daughter of God and a member of this church, but also how I was supposed to trust my priesthood leaders when they make comments like that! I'm still working on moving past it. I'm pretty sure I never expected to find my feminist side as a missionary, but here it is! :)

I know a lot of women don't struggle with this. But, I also know a lot of women who do. And I take solace in the fact that I have been given the power to ask and to question and to receive revelation for myself so I don't have to rely 100% on imperfect people. So.. If you do struggle with this, know you are not alone. And if you don't, please be patient and understanding with those that do. I don't want the priesthood. I don't need it, and I know it's not a part of Gods plan for me to have that power. But I do want to feel like an equal part of this church and this gospel.

Welp, I've rambled about this enough. Sorry if you thought missionaries were perfect and never questioned or doubted. We do. I've probably never doubted my testimony more than I have as a missionary. I know that we won't understand everything in this life. But I also know that God gives us, each of us, regardless of gender or race or eye color, the power to seek understanding and to find answers for ourselves despite our doubts and concerns. I KNOW that. And I know the prophet and his apostles know that and support it with their whole hearts. I still love this gospel. I still know that my savior and redeemer lives and loves me perfectly.

Transfers are next week because this cycle is only 5 weeks long. Here's hoping there are some big changes in store. :)

Love you :)
-Sister Toone

Ps. Mom. Just because I don't scroll on Facebook doesn't mean the middletown Ward members don't, either. Sister Davis told me all about it :P and then on Sunday, brother Giani came up to me and said "sister Toone! Six weeks!" Um, excuse me, I have eight weeks left. Thank you very much.