Things I've Learned About Provo, Utah.

Provo has done some weird things to me, my friends.

and by friends I mean friend, and by friend I mean Carol. I'm pretty sure she's the only one who reads this. Hey, ma!

The first surprising thing I've learned, if you can't already tell, is that Provo brings out the sass in me. The snark. The 'No Filter', The #realtalk and my personal favorite, the Smart Ass. It's almost terrifying how often I speak my mind.

I have no real explanation for this phenomena. I think a big part of it right now is that I have a lot on my mind and so worrying if what I say or who I am might offend you just isn't one of them anymore. It's good. It feels real and right and I'm sorry if I say something offensive, but I promise I have a good heart.

The second thing I've learned is that Provo really is "happy valley" People are happier. and more righteous. Like, FHE is a commandment here. and everyone keeps all of the commandments. all the time.*


*Please see #1

Number 3: People really are as ready to get married as non-Utah County people joke about. Not even kidding. A boy CALLED me on the phone today. To ask me on a blind date. He didn't even text me first. And, at church? Boys actually sit by you. and talk to you. I hope I recovered fast enough. I would hate for them to see the mix of shock/awe/horror on my face. I even gave them a real name when they asked.

I'm moving up in the world, friends.

Four: People are just as eager to marry you off as everyone talked about. Literally. My roommates boyfriend offered to manage my tinder account for me.

Thanks.

But H-no.

10000000 Times no.

Count me so far out.

I'd rather cut my own toes off.

Paper cut my mouth.

Anything.

And last? BYU has an interesting feel about it. They're better than other schools. and they know it... also, they aren't afraid to let you know it. Just incase you might have forgotten or something.


But really. Provo is great. Happy Valley is full of happy people. Including this girl.

XO,
Car

Week 2: I've "arrived"

Well, good news. I'm still alive. I know how to adult! like, I buy my own groceries and make my own meals. I set my own bedtime (that's usually WAYYY too late) and get myself to work on time (without Siri directing me, even.) I've successfully washed my own clothes and made my own bed and decorated my own room. 

Week one in Provo was rough. Filled with anxiety and no sleep and trouble eating and it inevitably ended in Carol coming to save my sorry butt with a girls day in Provo, complete with shopping and Swig. Words cannot describe my gratitude for that woman that is my mother and best friend, so I won't even try. 

I have just felt like I really needed to write something on here, but I'm not sure what. So prepare for a lot of random thoughts, okay?

My first two weeks in Provo have been a lot of things. Hard and funny and challenging and a great opportunity to grow. A chance to start over, to rekindle friendships, make new friends, and to decide exactly who I want to be. Things still aren't easy, I'd say. but I am happy. And I feel at home here, even though I still need Siri to tell me how to get to the grocery store. 

God has a plan for us, ya know? and I am continually amazed at the simplicity of the gospel.... and equally amazed at how complicated us as imperfect humans can make it be. As I am typing this I am overwhelmed with the love He has for me and inevitably for you. I am amazed at how strongly he yearns for us to be happy NOW, no matter our circumstances, and how He's willing to help us in any way and with any thing. He's our biggest support and greatest help and our best guide. But how easy it is to forget that. 

Have faith.

Hold on to hope.

Keep believing.

Things aren't as bad as they seem.

He has a plan for me.

and for you.

xo,

Car

Be Why Who?

Last time I blogged it was June 29th.

And then I blinked.

And today is July 26th.

A lot has happened in the last month, that's for sure. Some good, a little bad.. a lot of awkward; per the usual.

I'm going to skip over most of that and reminisce with you for a minute.

When I came home from my mission I had one semester left on a scholarship at USU. I felt like I was ready for a change of venue, but I also felt like I owed it to myself and my parents and family to give Logan and USU one more, whole hearted chance. So I did.

I moved out and went to a singles ward and was way too busy for my own good. I like Logan. I made some great friends and memories there. I had been praying about switching schools, but I never felt like I got an answer. I definitely didn't get any red lights... so I applied to BYU.

Still no red lights.

I was waiting to hear back from BYU when the opportunity to buy a housing contract came up. So, I bought it. Signed my life away for a whole year in Provo.

Still no red lights.

Nothing at all, in fact.

Then I got in to BYU. Sweet relief, because if I'm being honest I didn't want to move down there and do nothing for a whole year.

I finished my semester at USU, figured out my classes for BYU, and started looking into jobs down there. I felt like working at the MTC was where I needed to be. To work at the MTC you submit your information, and then go in for a mini-lesson so they can judge your teaching abilities.

I did that, and my lesson went horribly. When I got there, I was flooded with my own memories of the MTC and if you recall, most of them are not pleasant. I wasn't happy with it at all. I felt discouraged, and fear of not having a job in Provo started to sink in. Fear about a lot of things started to creep in. I was terrified.

A few weeks ago, I got more serious about the job search. I applied at a bunch of places. A few were at the same company I work for now, just different locations. The rest were at other places in Provo and Orem.

I took a Tuesday and went to FOUR job interviews. If you want to completely exhaust yourself, I'd recommend it. Three were at my company now, one was somewhere else.

The other company I wasn't too excited about working for, but the interview went fine.

The three for my company went well, but two were 25 minutes away from Provo, and the other didn't have a position open right now. I was feeling discouraged. Again. And afraid. Again. Because I am supposed to move ONE month from today.

I knew of a position open at one more office, so I stopped in and introduced myself to the supervisor. I told them I'd apply for the position as soon as I got back to work.

And then I started the two hour drive home. Accepting the fact that I might be homeless for the next year. Good thing I bought a hammock at the beginning of the summer.

And then my phone rang.

I answered it and it was a supervisor from an office in Utah county. Not either of the four I'd been to that day.

And she offered me a job.

Just like that.

And now I have to move in two weeks. Which is two weeks sooner than I had planned. Which means I'll really be homeless in Provo.

So the real reason for this whole story is so I can tell you what I've learned. Sorry it turned into a novel, but hopefully it's worth it.

Lesson #1: God is in the details of our lives. Even the smallest details. Because He loves us. End of Story.

Lesson #2: If the light isn't red, it's green. I know that sounds so trivial and immature, but if you won't take my word for it, maybe you'll take Elder Scott's:

“What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of His trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. … When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision” 

Lesson #3: Fear is NOT a fruit of the Spirit. I don't think God will use fear to persuade us to do good. Here's why I think that. But first, some history. This verse of scripture is directed at Oliver Cowdrey, who had asked in an earlier section to be able to translate like the Prophet, Joseph Smith. He had been given the gift, but because he was AFRAID, it was taken away from him. 

"11 Behold, it was expedient when you commenced; but you feared, and the time is past, and it is not expedient now;"

Lesson #4: If God needs you to be somewhere or to do something, as long as you are doing the things you are supposed to do, you'll get there.

I don't now what The Big Man has in store for me in Provo. Maybe it's a husband, or a chance to finish my degree and do something I love, and maybe it's just some more life challenges to help me become the person He intended me to be. I'm not sure. But I have a willing heart and mind and I'm excited to find out.

And you best believe I'll tell you all about it when I do.

xo,

Car

An Update

I realized recently that is is my blog about my life but I rarely talk about what's actually happening in my life! So, here's an update.

Disclaimer: it's not about a ring or a baby or a white dress.

Sorry for the disappointment.

 

The beginning of January 2015 I signed a housing contract in Provo... and at the end of January I submitted my application to Brigham Young University. You may be thinking to yourself "Well, that sounds a little backwards, doesn't it?" Yes. Yes, it does. But that's what [f a i t h] is, right?

 

That's what I told myself, anyway.

 

 I am not sure what it is or why but I just feel drawn to Provo. Maybe it's because all of my friends are there. Maybe it's because I've been a big fish in a little pond for the last 18 months and now it's hard for me to be a big fish in a little pond. (Oh, you know my bishop and my brother and my mom? And you dated my ex-boyfriend? Wow. Small world!) 

 

Maybe my inner adventurer needs a change and a chance to grow.

 

 Maybe, it's in the plans of the Big Man.

 

Who knows. I'm running with it.

 

The end of February I found out I was accepted to BYU for Fall 2015. YAY! Faith pays off, my friends. Now I don't have to move there and do nothing for a year or longer while I figure out my life. So, here's my plan.

 

I want to study Recreation Management.. because I want to be a wedding planner. I want to help people pick their colors and their wedding dress and their bridesmaid dresses. I want to arrange flowers and deal with mothers-in-law. Basically, I want to spend the rest of my life helping people be happy for eternity. (Sound familiar?)

 

The dream is to intern in NYC and then, after I graduate, move to California to work and eventually start my own business. As I'm typing this I realize I may have only told my parents half of the plan, if any, so.. Sorry Mom and Dad... You're going to have to visit me on one of the coasts. #sorrynotsorry

 

There are a few realizations I've had recently:

 

I'm pretty independent.

Very Motivated.

Determined.

Self-Sufficient.

Outspoken. (no, really? ;) )

 

xo

 

 -Car