I Don't Know About You...

But I'm feelin' 22!

I just had to, sorry.

There's nothing like a birthday to help humble you, and to help you reflect. On my birthday two years ago I left for the hardest and most rewarding experience of my life, up until that point.

I've been home from my mission for six months, and what a wild ride. It has been the hardest/happiest/loneliest/most rewarding time of my life.

Here's a recap:

Went on approximately 1,000 awful dates. Not even being dramatic.

Went on two or three really good dates.

And learned what it meant to be happy for myself.

Worked harder than I think I ever have in my life.

I finally saw a movie in the theaters. (It had only been 2 years) Pitch Perfect 2... I'd highly recommend it. Unless you're my mom. Then it's probably not for you.

I finished my first semester of college as a returned missionary... and I passed all of my classes! HOLLA.

There were SO many good things that happened in the last six months... and I know that I am a better person now than I was when I got home. I may not be the person I had anticipated being when I was still a missionary and I dreamt of being 'a real person', but isn't that how life always goes? Isn't that what faith is? Trusting that God ALWAYS knows better than us, and that if we do all that we can, He'll make us into the person we are supposed to be?

Yeah, it's really hard for me too.

Lately I get so caught up in what everyone is doing. Blame what you will... social media, #fomo, the curse of being a perfectionist... whatever it may be. I think if you let it, it can run (ruin?) your life.

I'm 22 and 90% of the people my age are graduated.

Or married.

With a child.

or two, or three.

Some own houses and dogs and drive nice cars.

and does she really look that good in a bikini?

Their lives must be perfect! What the heck happened to me? Why am I not married or graduated? Why can I barely keep a plant alive, let alone another human?

So, I've been trying to take Uchtdorf's advice.

STOP IT.

Stop comparing.

Stop shaming myself. my body. my mind. my relationships.

Because I am worthy. 

and my story, though flawed, has led me to be the person I am today. My mistakes, imperfections, flaws.. all of them make me me, and I am good enough. 

Whether I am single or married or graduated or jobless,

I am enough.

And so are you.

"I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.

Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.

And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does."

xo, 

Car